Live and learn.

One of my favorite shows on television is 6 Feet Under.   It's a drama series on HBO that some call morbid.  I wouldn't characterize it as morbid, but more-so, a dark comedy. 

The main characters in this show live in a house which is also a funeral home.  Like any funeral home, they help people plan out funerals.  Their lives revolve around caring for the dead and dealing with the families of lost ones.  Then of course, they show the personal drama of their own everyday lives.

What's interesting about this show is how they cope with their depressing lives.  Nearly every episode begins with someone dying, usually in dramatic fashion. 

Growing up in a funeral home isn't easy and not necessarily pleasant, but one thing that can be learned from watching this show is how to cope with death.

Our lives revolve around living.  Some live life day-by-day while others plan for the future, but rarely does anyone live life each day as if it were their last.  Most are scared of death and go the extra yard to extend their lives as much as possible.  That's a good way to live, but there's always negative repercussions.  For instance, many people have to protect themselves and live in fear.  Most families lock the doors of their houses and cars every night.  They don't normally walk around after dark.  We buy guns and dogs to protect ourselves, we build fences around our yards to block off the neighbors, and we sink into a daily routine, which for the most part, minimizes fear and gives us a better feeling of safety.

Life would be a lot more bearable if we could face death and not be afraid of it, but everyone everywhere continually reminds us how bad death is, yet one fact remains, it's inevitable. 

A show like 6 Feet Under is educational because it faces death and shows it as a reality, but what's better is they show how tough it is to cope, yet people do cope; life does go on.  This family has had to deal with the death of their father/husband and dealing with death on a daily basis has built them into stronger people, to the point where they can help others through the death of their loved-ones.

I've been dealt my fair share of death in my life.  Both Grandfathers, no less than 4 close friends through school; most recently my Great Uncle (Father Jim) and my Father.  Every time I've experienced sorrow, mourned, then moved on with my life and now I feel I'm a stronger person.

I think what hurts the most (especially with my Father) is when you had plans for the future or occasions to look forward to and now you realize that certain person won't be there to share those experiences.

My mother was married to my father for some 35 years... death did them part.  My mom has moved on with her life, but it hasn't been easy.  It's been many years since he passed on and I can tell you, a day doesn't go by that I still don't think of him.  The difference is, I don't dwell on it like I used to.  Life isn't easy and just when you think you're moving on, you may be dealt another blow.

I could get clichéish, but ask yourself this daily:  If you were to die tomorrow, how will you be remembered?  

Why is that important?  Because when you die, nothing is important to you anymore; after-all, you're worm food.  What's important is how you're going to be remembered by others.  Have you made a difference in anyone else's life?  Have you accomplished your goals?  Are you happy?  Friends and relatives will be comforted by your death if they know you've done your best to live a fulfilling life.  That's really all there is to it.  My father wasn't rich and I don't know if he thought he was a failure, but we all know he wasn't.  My father epitomized success and his life would be a good role model on how to live.  He had 3 kids go to college, he lived up to his vows, gave my mother 35 great years of marriage, they traveled and had fun, he worked a job he loved, was good at it, and he helped the veterans of war.  He had a lot of friends and is missed dearly.  

That's how I remember my father, how will I remember you?  How will others?  Do you even care?  You should.

You know how people say they don't care what others think of them?  It's horse shit.  If you didn't care, you wouldn't dress as you do, you wouldn't follow norms, etc.  Most importantly, when you die, how you lived your life is how you'll be remembered.  If you're not trying to make a difference in your life, the lives of others, and if you say you don't care what others think of you, then why are you still alive now? 

I am living to accomplish goals.  One was accomplished when I finished college.  Now I get a job and start saving to accomplish my others.  

My motto is, relax, slow down, enjoy life, but always be working towards accomplishing your goals.  If you die short of your goals, at least you went down trying dammit.  Do yourself a favor, stay healthy, exercise, drink lots of waters, learn to overcome obstacles, and continue striving to make the most out of your life.  Watch 6 Feet Under (on HBO) sometime.