I have a couple conspiracy theories.  Both hokey.  

SATAN CONSPIRACY...

Did you see Devil's Advocate with Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves?  Pacino was a pretty good devil.  You see Natural Born Killers?  Woody Harrelson knows what I'm talking about.  He claims everyone's got the demon in them.  To some extent, true, but possessed or descendants of the devil?  no.  

My first conspiracy theory is that many people on this planet are in fact descendents of the devil.  

Basically, this theory revolves around the assumption that there are people who have characteristics reminiscent of our preconceived notions about what the devil looks like.  They're here to play out some grand plan, but I have no clue what it is.  I told you it was hokey.

The first person on my list who is a son of Satan is Carrot Top.  You think it's a joke, some think he's a joke, some think his jokes are funny, but take a long, hard look at his eyes and eyebrows.  Pure evil.  I kid you not.  It also doesn't help his case that he's a redhead, and an ugly one at that.  He gets top billing and he may be the one person trying to make himself the most likeable because he's the ring leader, but he better stop doing those 800 commercials because people are learning to hate him.  See the subtle vibe there?  

Another one on the list is Nicole Kidman.  Such soft skin, so beautiful, but look at the slanted eyebrows... they make her look evil.  She's got bitch written all over them.  I believe her natural hair color is red as well.  A daughter of Satan.  She's pure evil.  That don't mean I wouldn't give her a whirl in the sack, but think about Tom and their kids ... little devils.  Why do you think Tom broke up?  hmmm.  Conspiracy theory.  If he tells anyone, she waxes his ass.

Jon Gruden (aka Chucky), coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (sorry, old picture).  Once again, the eyes.  Beety.  Constant scowl on his face.  They're not soft, they're pure evil.  He plays it normal in the public eye, but my guess is he's got some serious skeletons in his closet.  People say you can read a lot by a person's eyes... maybe I read too much eh.

There are many more who I believe are descendants of Satan... I'll list them as time goes on.  I don't have a point to this theory, it's just a conspiracy.  I mean, if they are all descendants of the devil, then what?  Can't the devil play out his evil plan on his own or does he need associates just as God needs messengers and missionaries?  And what is the devils plan?  What are the role of these descendants?  Some would say eventually utter destruction.  Maybe Nicole, Carrot Top, and Chucky are master manipulators, cultists.  Maybe we'll all see the plan develop someday.

TERRORISM CONSPIRACY...

If you want to see a decent film about Terrorism, watch The Siege.  It stars Denzel Washington, Annette Bening, and Bruce Willis.  When compared to previous terrorist attacks, the irony is thick.  It's a pretty intense movie.

At any rate....

One of my major's at Portland State University was Administration of Justice.  I took a number of courses relating to crime, one in particular that focused on terrorism.  Long before the recent September 11th attack, we had a class discussion about why terrorism is the future of warfare.  When it comes to terrorism, there's no fingers to point.  Most terrorists work as cell's, mutually exclusive from one-another, and tracing their roots isn't easy.  Right now we have intelligence that points towards Bin Laden as the mastermind of the September 11th attacks, but we don't have direct proof.  We bombed the country of Afghanistan.  See how silly it is?  We don't know who bombed us, but "intelligence" points the sources to the middle east, so we ravage a country and make a hoard of enemies in the process.  

That's the problem with terrorism.  In many cases it's simply untraceable.  Sometimes a group will take responsibility for an act of terrorism, but more-so for bragging rights than anything else.  Never will a country take responsibility for a terrorist attack.  That said, who do you attack when you've become a victim of terrorism?

That's why we (our terrorist class) felt terrorism was (and is) the new form of warfare.  

I like the fact that Bush is declaring a war on terrorism, but attacking countries who haven't attacked us, is only going to cause trouble for the United States.  Americans believe we're invincible, but there are only so many troops to go around.  There are only so many ways to protect our nation.  If we go spreading our troops around the world fighting terrorism, we may be spread too thin and become vulnerable.  

Not only that, but if we begin attacking nations like Iran, Iraq, and other countries around the world because they breed terrorism, they will turn on us.  

What has been the outcome of the War on Terror in Afghanistan?  We've managed to destroy many terrorist camps, but we have yet to completely dismantle the Al-Qa'ida.  Furthermore we have yet to find Bin Laden and even if we do, the best that will happen is, we'll kill him and some of our minds will be at ease, but then what?  Millions of Afghan citizens are dying of hunger and ill effects of the war.  Meanwhile, the World Trade Center has been reduced to rubble and thousands of Americans are dead.  Maybe we'll rebuild the WTC, but the damage has been done.

Fighting a War on Terrorism around the world will only spell trouble down the road for the United States.  We can't possibly take on every Middle Eastern Country and expect to escape without casualties or counter attacks.  We don't know who our allies truly are.  We expect because we fund countries that we have their support, but if you had to choose between your employer and your friend, who are you picking?  

Bottom line is, we could be looking at World War III if things continue as they are and countries we believe will lend their support, could very well turn on us; at the very least (or most depending on how you look at it) they'll remain neutral.

The problem with World War III is, unlike previous World War's, this one won't be fought over territory.  This war will be fought to kill as many as can be killed.  When war breaks out, the United States will be the central target and I do believe our nation will be reduced to a third world country.  Utter destruction.

Here's how my theory works... you may laugh, but it makes sense...

In our neighborhood, we have ice cream trucks that come through here all the time when the weather is nice.  The ice cream driver whose been coming for the past couple years looks like a relative of Bin Laden.  He's got a long white beard and wears a turban.  He barely understands English and when you ask for ice cream, you pretty much have to point to the picture on his truck.  Most kids don't even buy ice cream from this guy because he's so freaky looking.

My belief is he's a terrorist.  Of course I can't prove it, but he fits the profile of the stereotypical terrorist.

Furthermore, the guy working at a local convenient store (7-11) is from the Middle East as well.  

Where my theory comes into play is, I think there are many terrorists driving ice cream trucks and working in convenience stores all over the nation.  They may even be your landscaper, butler, maid, etc.  When the current war on terrorism escalates to the point that the Middle Eastern countries decide to seek revenge on us, all these terrorists posing as ice cream drivers, convenience store clerks, maid's, etc, are going to strap down their ice cream trucks, businesses, your house, or themselves with a bunch of explosives.  One ice cream truck or establishment loaded with enough explosives could probably wipe out a whole neighborhood, if not more.  

Imagine 1,000+ terrorists who have blended into society (possibly even posing as a good friend of yours) eventually turning on us.  Furthermore, picture not only C4 explosives, but chemical weapons being used.  Upon detonation, many buildings and neighborhoods could be turned to rubble, but also think of the damage the chemical weapons could do.  Wind will carry those chemicals all over the nation and our population could be diminished considerably, most-likely to the point where we have no way of fighting back.  Did you see the Pianist or know anything of the Holocaust?  The Jews were rendered defenseless, had no clue what hit them.  How will we react when all we see is death and destruction around us?  How did the people of NY react?  They were scared, awestruck, it was too surreal and incomprehensible... not only to NY citizens, but Americans all over.  And our response?  Citizens did nothing.  If all out war breaks out, I don't see citizens doing anything... maybe a few feeble attempts if they see the enemy, but it's going to happen so fast, we won't know what the hell hit us.

America will be conquered.

So, while fighting this war on terror appears to be the appropriate response to the attacks on the World Trade Center, understand that this may be only the beginning of something on a much larger scale.  This could all end with a far worse tragedy than we've already experienced.

Never believe for once that we're invincible.  I'm proud to be an American, but I understand that this is only the beginning and it could have a devastating finish... far worse than the attacks on the World Trade Centers in New York and Oklahoma City.

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